And then today happened. Morgan's mother impromptu watched Hadley and Parker so that we could record some vocals. She had laid the girls down for nap right before we walked in the door, and as we entered, was still descending the stairs from where the girls slept. She stopped half way down and said that Parker had asked for her paci, but that she hadn't been able to find it, so she had laid her down without it.
But then I heard it...
...the sound of no crying children.
Were my ears screwed up from the studio headphones?
I grabbed the baby monitor to see this with my own eyes.
Was the volume actually up?
...and my child was rolling around jabbering away happy
as could be... without her paci.
Morgan's mom offered to go take the paci to her, and faster than I could even think it, my mouth was saying "NO!!!!" I did a full on happy dance and sounded like a broken record the next hour as I watched my daughter not sleeping... but not having a meltdown. Morgan went up a couple times and put Parker's blanket back on, and eventually she fell asleep. I was so proud.
BUT... I'm the mom. ...and as all moms know, it's a whole different ball of wax for us. Our kids work us... and so, as I read Parker her final story tonight, I prepared myself for Armageddon.
"I don't know where it is sweetie... do you?"
"Rub my back?"
So I did. The whole time thinking, "Wait, seriously? That was it?
Rub my back?"
After a few minutes I kissed her, said goodnight and left. I walked down the stairs...
...and have been fighting back tears ever since. My baby didn't need her paci. She didn't even seem that upset about it. This morning she was sneaking it out of her crib and stealing extra moments with it when I wasn't looking, and tonight she didn't even need it. This morning I was trying to figure out how to possibly ditch it, and tonight I'm crying over it.
Just another manic "Momday."